Post by BIG FOX on Feb 27, 2007 12:06:20 GMT -5
The Curtain Rods
He spent the first day packing his belongings into boxes, crates, and
suitcases.
On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.
On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and
feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of chardonnay.
When he had finished, he went into each and every room and stuffed
half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of the curtain rods.
He then cleaned up and left.
When the ex-wife and her boyfriend moved back in, all was bliss for
the first few days. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything: cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were
checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, and air fresheners were
hung everywhere!
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out, and, eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-husband called his ex and asked how things were going. she told him the saga of the rotting house. he listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing her ex-husband had no idea how bad the smell was, she agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if he were to sign the papers that very day. he agreed, and, within the hour, her lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the ex and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched
the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the
curtain rods.
I just love a happy ending, don't you?
He spent the first day packing his belongings into boxes, crates, and
suitcases.
On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.
On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and
feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of chardonnay.
When he had finished, he went into each and every room and stuffed
half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of the curtain rods.
He then cleaned up and left.
When the ex-wife and her boyfriend moved back in, all was bliss for
the first few days. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything: cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were
checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, and air fresheners were
hung everywhere!
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out, and, eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-husband called his ex and asked how things were going. she told him the saga of the rotting house. he listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing her ex-husband had no idea how bad the smell was, she agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if he were to sign the papers that very day. he agreed, and, within the hour, her lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the ex and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched
the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the
curtain rods.
I just love a happy ending, don't you?
