Post by JARHEAD on Mar 16, 2009 8:39:02 GMT -5
I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences... but Dad always
had those POS chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9
volts and just kinda tickled. This I could not let go of. The 8 foot long
ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the winter moistened
desert soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and
take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas. 'Damn!,' I think, as I
remember I just filled the tank!
Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run
pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in
poop, pee, jizz, and with my balls on my chest I think 'Oh God, please
die... pleeeeze die'. But NOOooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle
nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for
the go command from its owner's right foot.
So, here I am in the middle of August, 104 degrees, standing in my own
pasture, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day, he left me
there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had
created. I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire....I woke up
laying on the ground hours later. The lawn mower was beside me, out of gas.
It was later on in the day and I was sunburned.
There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then
another long skinny dead spot were the wire had laid while I was on the
ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the
resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon waking from my
electrically induced sleep I realized a few things:
1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.
2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not
the left, just the right).
3- Poop, pee, and semen when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you
might think.
4- My left eye will not open.
5- My right eye will not close.
6- The lawnmower runs like a sunuvabitch now. Seriously! I think our little
session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better
than new after that.
7- My balls are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long.
8- I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the
number 4 (still don't understand this?)
That day changed my life. I now have a new found respect for things. I
appreciate the little things more, and now I always double check to make
sure the fence is unplugged before I mow. The good news, is that if a
burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my
security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling
all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow.
had those POS chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9
volts and just kinda tickled. This I could not let go of. The 8 foot long
ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the winter moistened
desert soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and
take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas. 'Damn!,' I think, as I
remember I just filled the tank!
Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run
pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in
poop, pee, jizz, and with my balls on my chest I think 'Oh God, please
die... pleeeeze die'. But NOOooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle
nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for
the go command from its owner's right foot.
So, here I am in the middle of August, 104 degrees, standing in my own
pasture, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day, he left me
there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had
created. I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire....I woke up
laying on the ground hours later. The lawn mower was beside me, out of gas.
It was later on in the day and I was sunburned.
There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then
another long skinny dead spot were the wire had laid while I was on the
ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the
resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon waking from my
electrically induced sleep I realized a few things:
1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.
2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not
the left, just the right).
3- Poop, pee, and semen when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you
might think.
4- My left eye will not open.
5- My right eye will not close.
6- The lawnmower runs like a sunuvabitch now. Seriously! I think our little
session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better
than new after that.
7- My balls are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long.
8- I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the
number 4 (still don't understand this?)
That day changed my life. I now have a new found respect for things. I
appreciate the little things more, and now I always double check to make
sure the fence is unplugged before I mow. The good news, is that if a
burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my
security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling
all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow.